Dayzee Dazzle and Her Manic Mansion, Thrills N Kills in the Hills Book Two
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 – Anything It Wants 1
Chapter 2 – Sexy Prison Guard 8
Chapter 3 – Even Bigger Stars 21
Chapter 4 – Just Toss It Out 30
Chapter 5 – Quite an Attitude 39
Chapter 6 – Little White Boxes 49
Chapter 7 – A Headless Monster 58
Chapter 8 – Anything Made of Wood 71
Chapter 9 – It Found a Good Spot 84
Chapter 10 – Rather Die on Earth 97
Chapter 11 – Hopping on One Leg 107
Chapter 12 – What a Bod He Has 119
Chapter 13 – Scary Wooden Thing 131
Chapter 14 – Liking this Planet 141
Chapter 15 – Keep Talking Sexy 153
Chapter 16 – Just Like That 164
Chapter 17 – Unsuspecting Human Males 175
Chapter 18 – Things Happen, That’s All 185
Chapter 19 – More Dead Bodies 195
Chapter 20 – A Really Hard Bargain 205
Chapter 21 – Some Serious Wood 217
Chapter 22 – It Wants All of Us! 229
Chapter 23 – Science and Sorcery 240
Chapter 1 – Anything It Wants
“Ooh, is that you, Kozy?”
Dayzee Dazzle resisted opening her eyes and smiled at the tender touch on her left arm. She lay on her back in the middle of her massive four-poster bed, caressed by the silk sheets and covered by a thick quilt. Her bare arms were up with her fingers laced behind her head and covered by her long, wavy blond hair. Everything beneath the covers was bare too.
“Mm . . . I was hoping you’d sneak in and wake me up. I’m curious how worked up you are right now. Let’s just pretend there’s all kinds of danger everywhere, alright?”
The soft touch began on her right arm, too, and when both touches became weightier, Dayzee snapped open her steel blue eyes.
“Oh, God no. Stop it!”
She saw that the two thick wooden posts at the head of the bed had leaned over and pressed down on her forearms, pinning them there and keeping her hands trapped beneath her head. A touch to her legs caused her to glance down, and she saw the posts at the foot of the bed leaning low and squeezing her thighs into the mattress, the big, polished balls at the ends feeling strong and unyielding.
Unable to kick her legs around under the covers, she screamed for their protector, the one that had been sent by the Guild and had arrived through the portal at the Prism Bar and Grill just the day before. No one had seen its arrival, but they’d marveled at its effects after it took over their new friend, Kenzie, a barmaid at the Prism.
“Kozy! Kozy, help!”
She heard no answer, no sound of feet running down the hall of her mansion in The Flats of Beverly Hills, and she thought of burning her way out of the trap her bed had become. Before heating up, she realized that if she sent the heat to her hands, she’d only burn her own hair first and then her head. If she sent her overpowering heat to any other part of her body, she’d only ignite her bed, and then the entire house would light up.
“Kozy! Mare! Fia! Anyone?”
No one answered, and she felt the post pinning her right thigh relax and withdraw until it touched her softly, just like how the nightmare had begun. She stared in shock as the large ball slid smoothly along her thigh until it rested on her hip. Then, it began to move closer to her middle.
“No! Oh, don’t you dare! Kozy! Girls! Get in here already!”
The heavy ball hesitated, then moved quickly toward her face, causing her to wince, but it stopped at the edge of the quilt. It wiggled under it and snapped it to one side, leaving her covered by only the thin sheet, which conformed to every detail beneath it. The post then slid down between her breasts, gently gliding over her belly until it rested at an area below her navel.
“Oh, no, no, no!”
With eyes stretched wide open, Dayzee listened and heard nothing, even as she watched and felt the ball moving into just the position it wanted.
“No, don’t! There’s no way—”
It began a pleasant pressure, a soft rubbing up and down, lingering higher up to trace out tight, gentle circles, and Dayzee paused her pleas for help.
“Oh, you know, this is weird as hell, but . . . I mean . . . that’s just . . . so . . .”
The post continued its amorous activities, and Dayzee closed her eyes and said, “Oh, that’s . . . wow, that’s . . .”
She let out a deep sigh and whispered, “Kozy, for the record, I’m still calling for help. Maybe you . . . you should . . .”
Seconds later, she felt the large wooden balls holding her arms down begin to press against the sides of her head, even while they still locked her arms in place. At first, it was a soft touch, but they zeroed in on her temples and began to imitate a vise.
“Kozy! Girls! I need help!”
She felt the pressure growing against her head, and the post between her legs began to show more enthusiasm. Dayzee strained against the parts pressing her arms into the mattress, then let them relax. She angled her eyes down to spy the large wooden ball moving more rapidly, dragging the soft sheet across her, bunching it up, then smoothing it back out. She closed her eyes and grinned until the squeezing of her head grew more intense.
“Kozy!”
Rapid footsteps in the hall preceded a crash against the closed bedroom door. It got snapped off of its hinges, and it danced upright for a second before falling to the floor. Kozy stood in the doorway, assessing the situation while wearing only baggy pajama pants. In an instant, he was sitting on Dayzee’s lap, close enough that the romantic post bumped into his pants with each steady motion. From there, he reached for the two posts threatening to smash Dayzee’s head.
“Hurry, Kozy! It’s killing me!”
“We must avoid that, Dayzee.”
He grabbed each of the two posts just under the balls at the ends, pulled them away from Dayzee’s head, snapped the ends off, and tossed them to the floor. The shattered, splintered ends hesitated only a second, then they both lunged back at Dayzee’s head, but he was too quick and got an iron grip on both of them again.
He broke the twisting, stabbing posts again, this time so low that they could no longer reach Dayzee’s head. Still, they writhed in every direction, doing their best to poke their prey.
“You saved me, Kozy—my bed’s trying to kill me!”
“Yes, I should have anticipated this possibility. It is constructed of wood. You were in great danger.”
Dayzee looked down at Kozy’s large bulge threatening to break free of his plaid pants.
“Well, look at you—you seem to have more wood than this crazy bed right now!”
“It is the danger. That is how we One-Eighties react. Do not let it trouble you.”
“Oh, my—no trouble at all. Looks like you need a shave all of a sudden too. And your voice . . . it’s gotten so much more—”
“Yes, I am very much reacting to the situation at the moment. I must hurry to save you from that other post.”
started to turn, and Dayzee reached down and held both of his arms.
“You know . . . maybe there’s not such a hurry for that one. I mean, with all this danger, you sure are . . . I mean . . . and you’re sitting right there . . . and that bad post sure knows what it’s doing down there.”
“Dayzee, you still face considerable hazards.”
“Yeah, and I like what that’s doing to you. Maybe you should, you know, move a little closer, and—”
“What on Earth is going on in here?” Sophia said from the doorway as her eyes darted around at every detail.
“Oh, Sissy, what are those two up to?” said her twin sister, Marilyn.
Both wore short white robes and stared at the scene on the bed. Marilyn’s wavy blond hair fell softly around her shoulders, and Sophia’s straight black hair fell neatly far down her back. Two pairs of blue eyes stared at Dayzee and Kozy.
“I’m in great danger, girls,” said Dayzee, “and you know what that does to Kozy. Oh, my goodness, girls!”
Dayzee closed her eyes and laid her head back on the pillow. Her hands moved to Kozy’s thighs.
“What exactly is your bed doing to you?”
“Anything it wants, Fia. I never knew my bed could . . . oh, you know . . . that’s so—”
In the blink of an eye, Kozy had spun around but still sat on Dayzee. Several snaps later, both posts that had trapped and caressed her were short, jagged serpents, still attacking with blinding speed.
“Oh, Kozy,” said Marilyn, “you really are our hero!”
“Very impressive,” said Sophia. “How could you be so strong and so fast? You look really hot in just pants too. Hey, check out the whiskers, Sis.”
“Well, Kozy sure is taking care of business,” said Marilyn. “I kind of wish my bed would attack me next.”
hands again held Kozy by the thighs, which were muscular and straining against the thin cloth, and she said, “Girls, his legs are amazing. Wow, that’s some serious muscle tone.”
“That’s not all that’s really toned up and ready to go, Sissy,” said Marilyn.
“Well, Sis, this is a crazy amount of danger. What did Kozy say One-Eighties do? They spring up?”
“Yes, Sophia,” said Kozy. “My male characteristics amplify during times of strife. It will not last now that the danger has passed.”
“But, Kozy,” said Dayzee, “before all that’s gone, maybe you could, I don’t know, show us?”
“I’m thinking of more than just showing,” said Marilyn. “We should hurry before it’s all gone.”
“It will never be all gone, but it has retreated. The danger has been neutralized,” said Kozy.
“You still look damn good, especially without a shirt,” said Sophia.
“It’s true, Sissy,” said Marilyn. “Wow, I think his muscles are still growing.”
Before Kozy could get up, Sophia said, “Dayzee, is he wearing anything under those pants?”
“Nope. Not a thing. I can tell you for sure that Kozy was at attention and had my attention.”
He climbed down off of Dayzee and the bed and stood at the side looking down on her.
“Are you intact? Did the assassin succeed in injuring you?”
“No, I’m fine. You got in here just in time. It was about to crush my head, though.”
“It was doing something else to you, too, Dayzee,” said Marilyn. “I think you liked that part of it.”
“It did feel pretty good, Mare. Too good. I almost didn’t care that it was trying to kill me. Kozy, what was that all about? What kind of thing is trying to kill us now?”
“I do not have an exact answer for you, Dayzee, but I have heard that the laboratories run by the Guild are an affront to all morals and ethics.”
“What does that mean?” said Marilyn. “Bet it’s not anything good.”
“It means that they do not just mix chemicals or modify existing life forms. They recognize no limits, and they often operate outside of strictly scientific realities.”
“Huh? Kozy, in English, alright?” said Dayzee.
“They have been known to mix science with sorcery. They—”
“What sorcery?” said Sophia.
“A recent Guild expedition to a passing asteroid uncovered a cache of sorcery crystals. They are rare in the universe and very unstable. When mixed with science, there are virtually no limits, and it seems they have created something especially diabolical in their attempts to terminate the three of you.”
“Diabolical, huh? How diabolical?” said Sophia.
“They call it sorsciencery. It appears that they have sent an entity which seeks to seduce you even as it kills you.”
Dayzee sat up, and she and Marilyn and Sophia looked at each other for several seconds with no one uttering a word.
“It did that, girls,” said Dayzee. “It really knew what it was doing too. More than most others that have been through here. I almost didn’t care that it was smashing my head.”
“It felt that good, Dayzee?” said Marilyn. “Just the post from your bed?”
“Really, it did. In the end, though—”
“That’s where it was probably headed next,” Sophia said with a smirk.
“Good one, Sissy,” said Marilyn. “I bet it was too. Who wouldn’t?”
Sophia grinned and said, “Now, that’s something I’d like to watch because—”
“Alright, you two. I’m just glad it wasn’t enough to completely make me not care about my skull.”
“It is still learning,” said Kozy. “It will soon know how to take you to the highest point of your pleasure, and when—”
“I bet Kozy could do that too,” said Marilyn.
“Ditto that, Sis,” said Sophia. “Especially after he gets used to this planet and gets horny.”
“I hope it doesn’t take too long because I—”
“Girls! Let Kozy finish.”
“—yes, and when you are there at your highest point, then it will kill you.”
“That sure is diabolical,” said Dayzee.
“Well,” said Marilyn, “if I’m in my bed, which is made of wood, wouldn’t I be in terrible danger?”
“Yes,” said Kozy. “You would. We are sure of that now.”
“Why don’t you come see, just to make sure I’m tucked in all nice and safe?”
“I can inspect your room for potential dangers if you wish.”
“How about my room?” said Sophia. “My bed isn’t wood, but the dresser sure is. Oh, and those boards going around the windows. Those might get me. Maybe you should come and check on me first?”
“Oh, you girls are really too much.”
“We just get awful itchy,” said Marilyn.
“Sis is right,” said Sophia. “Watching Kozy all worked up sure didn’t help.”
“Let’s try to make it through the night, and we’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”
Chapter 2 – Sexy Prison Guard
Even though she’d barely been able to pry her eyes open, Dayzee had put on a tight red skirt with black heels and a black blouse. She’d managed to brush back most of her thick blond hair, and she’d left the blouse mostly unbuttoned.
After shuffling across her kitchen, she stopped near the refrigerator to rub her eyes and yawn. When she opened them again, she focused on the coffee maker, stared at it a few seconds, then took short steps in its direction.
Several minutes later, the smell of fresh brewing filled the room and wafted up the stairway to her sleeping companions. A short walk to the freezer yielded a box of waffles, and after fumbling with the package, she ripped the end apart, removed four of them, and got them started toasting. Soon after, the scent of blueberries joined the coffee on its journey to the mansion’s upper levels.
She found her phone on the counter, punched a few numbers, waited for the message to wrap up, then said, “This is Dayzee. Monday isn’t happening. I’ve had a ridiculous couple of days, and I’m going to need more than a Sunday off to rest up. Let’s shoot for a Tuesday shoot. Hey, that’s kind of funny. Later.”
She ended the call and set the phone back where she’d found it. Leaning against the counter, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and stretched her arms straight up while arching her back. The two buttons holding her blouse closed loosened, and she shook her head with a soft laugh and fastened them again.
At the sound of footsteps on the staircase leading into her kitchen, she opened her eyes to see Kozy dressed in jeans and sneakers and a light gray t-shirt. He still had Kenzie’s long, straight brown hair, and it had all been brushed and fell far past his muscular shoulders and down over his V-shaped back. A few wisps fell to the front and lay across a chest that threatened to split the t-shirt open.
“Good, you have nutritional resources.”
“Good morning, Kozy. Yes, there’s food. Thanks again for saving me last night. I guess I’m surprised the bed didn’t keep attacking me after you splintered it. Why is that? It let me sleep the rest of the night.”
“I have only a preliminary theory at this stage of its evolution.”
“Huh? Kozy, it’s kind of early. How about keeping it simple?”
“Such creations often evolve and gain strength and capabilities. I believe we tired it out.”
“Huh. You tired it out. You’re saying that it needed to recuperate?”
“Yes, that is likely.”
“Thank God, because I needed some rest. I still need some rest. You’re hungry?”
“More than this simplistic Earth language can describe. I am operating Kenzie’s physical form at a very demanding metabolic speed.”
“How? You’re not doing all that much.”
“Look at these,” Kozy said and held up both arms and flexed his biceps. One hand dropped down to point at the thighs packed tightly into the denim, and he said, “and these ambulatory limbs. It requires energy to manifest and maintain such alterations.”
“Oh, well, let’s make sure you have plenty to eat, then,” Dayzee said with a big grin. “What about Kenzie?”
“She is here, too, and she is starving as well.”
“Can she say hi?”
“No.”
“Alrighty, then. Got it. Here, take these,” Dayzee said and handed her own plate to Kozy, who tore into them, packing his cheeks and snarling noticeably.
“Whoa, slow down—there’s more of them in the freezer. You can eat all you want.”
“These warm, brittle disks are surprisingly satisfying. I would like to consume several additional stacks of them.”
“Sure thing. Just be sure to leave a decent figure for Kenzie when you’re done here.”
He set the plate on the counter and held the last waffle, taking big bites, and reached down for the t-shirt’s bottom hem. After pulling it up high enough to show his lean, bare abdomen, he said, “Kenzie is remarkably fit. That is unusual on this planet, is it not? I only added some muscle.”
Dayzee stared.
“Wow, Kenzie sure was in good shape. I love what you did with that too.”
Dayzee walked up and stood in front of him. She reached out and held his waist with both hands, squeezing it and smiling.
“Solid as heck. How did she manage that?”
“I do not know, but she will not gain weight from my eating. I need copious quantities of food.”
Dayzee shook her head, smiled, and said, “Heck, eat all you want,” and kept looking down at Kozy’s bare abs. She poked at his navel with one finger and smiled.
“What’s going on with you two now?” said Sophia. She’d dressed herself in a short black skirt with black heels, and her light blue blouse was tight, largely unbuttoned, and matched her eyes. Her long black hair fell far down her back.
“Oh, good morning, Fia. Kozy and I were just admiring how fit Kenzie was. I guess he would have ended up a lot different if Kenzie wasn’t built so well. Come see.”
Sophia walked over to stand behind him, reached around with both hands, and said, “Oh, that’s really something, Kozy. Even Kenzie would like what you’ve done. When you leave, she’ll be back to the way she was?”
“Yes. I will not leave a trace of my displacing her.”
“Good. I bet she worked hard for that.”
“If anything, she’s in even better shape now,” said Dayzee.
“No one invited me to the party?” said Marilyn as she navigated down the stairs while rubbing her eyes with one hand and sliding the other along the rail. She’d found one of Dayzee’s short white dresses, and the blue high heels fit too.
“Oh, Mare, it’s not a party. Although, I guess it could be,” said Dayzee. “We’re just checking out Kozy. I was groggy starting my day, but this is waking me up.”
Marilyn walked over, joined the group, and said, “Um, you could probably let go of him now, Dayzee.”
“Oh. Yeah, you’re right. I’ll get some more waffles going.”
“You too, Sissy.”
Sophia let go and said, “Do you have any spaghetti? You could watch me inhale it like one of those cleaner machine things.”
“Good one, Sissy.”
“Oh, Fia, you mean a vacuum? You’re just being silly. Waffles are better.”
Dayzee filled the toaster and pushed the levers down. Kozy and the twins took seats at the kitchen table, and Kozy finished chewing and swallowed the last bite of his waffle.
“I barely slept last night, girls. That bed was still scary after Kozy beat it up, and I kept thinking it was going to get me again.”
“Hmm . . . from what I saw, maybe you wished it would get you again,” said Marilyn.
“That’s what I was thinking, Sis,” said Sophia. “Dayzee and that post really had something sweet going on.”
“It only felt that way at that moment, Fia. Right now, that just seems creepy, nothing more.”
“You’re lucky Kozy came to your rescue,” said Marilyn. “Hey, is that bed thing still alive?”
All eyes looked to Kozy for an answer.
“I do not believe the bed is still animated. Its attempts at attacking through that article have failed. It will seek another way.”
“That’s pretty ominous,” said Sophia. “It can take over anything made of wood?”
“Wood,” said Marilyn before giggling. “Can it take you, Kozy?”
“Yes, it appears most in tune with wooden items,” he said to Sophia before turning toward Marilyn. “No, the assassin cannot take me.”
“Can we?” said Sophia.
“All of us?” said Marilyn.
“Girls, this is serious.”
“You’re right, Dayzee,” said Marilyn. “We’ll try to behave. For a while anyway.”
“Good. Now, here’s something I just thought of.”
She walked over and set a full plate of waffles in front of Kozy.
“What about us?” said Sophia.
“Yours is on the way. What I’m thinking is that since Kozy is our bodyguard, wouldn’t some kind of uniform make more sense?”
“I love that idea!” said Marilyn. “Let’s get Kozy all dressed up!”
“Those jeans are filled out really nice,” said Sophia, “but yeah, some kind of hot uniform would be so much better.”
“Girls, I never said a ‘hot’ uniform.”
“Oh, come on, Dayzee,” said Sophia. “Just because it wasn’t your idea.”
“Alright, it is a good idea. Let’s finish breakfast and take a look in my costume storage.”
“Wait,” said Marilyn, “you have a stash of costumes?”
“I sure do. A couple of cabinets full, way up on the third floor.”
“Wait again,” said Marilyn, “you have clothes for Kozy too?”
“They might not fit perfectly, but yeah, I think we can find something. Let’s take the elevator up.”
“Since when do you have an elevator? I haven’t seen an elevator,” said Sophia.
“I haven’t seen it in a while myself,” said Dayzee. “It’s here somewhere, though. Let’s eat, then we can try to find the blasted thing.”
They all took in their fill of waffles and coffee, and Dayzee led them up the stairs and down the hall.
“Why didn’t we take the elevator up from the first floor?” said Sophia.
“Oh, Fia, I just thought it’d be easier to find on this floor.”
They walked down a long hall past several bedrooms on each side.
“You led us right to it,” said Marilyn. “You knew where it was.”
“Sure, this one.”
“What? There’s more than one?”
“I think so, Mare. We can look later.”
Sophia pressed the button, and the door opened to a wood-paneled cab with a polished wood plank floor.
“Uh-oh,” said Marilyn. “Lots of wood. Kozy, are we in danger?”
“It is possible, but the assassin is not as adaptable yet as it will be soon.”
Marilyn looked down lower on Kenzie and said, “Still, shouldn’t you be ready for that?”
Kozy responded as she’d suggested, and Marilyn clapped her hands and said, “That’s better!”
“Sis, we can’t play with Kozy like some kind of wind-up toy.”
“Why not, Sissy, especially since I’m always wound-up? If we’re really in danger, we’ll need Kozy ready, and I mean really ready to—”
“Oh, Mare. Let’s get Kozy dressed up nice and then see about that. Hit ‘3,’ will you?”
“Sure, Dayzee.”
The elevator door opened to a lengthy room with a steep, peaked ceiling. Large windows at each end let in the bright Beverly Hills morning daylight, and several ceiling fans spun slowly.
“What do you think?” said Dayzee.
“I see many wooden cabinets and chests. The seating assemblies are wood also,” said Kozy.
“Always looking out for us,” said Sophia. “That’s pretty hot too.”
“Kozy will be even hotter with the right outfit,” said Marilyn. “Those wardrobes are all full of costumes, Dayzee?”
“Yeah, from all the films and shows I’ve been in. I insisted in all my contracts that I keep everything I wore. Are you alright with this, Kozy? Gosh, we never even asked you.”
“There is no need to ask, Dayzee. Dress me as you wish.”
“One-Eighties are so much fun,” said Marilyn.
“I am here to serve and protect.”
“Oh, that sounds like a police officer,” said Sophia. “How about it, Dayzee? Anything around here like that?”
“You know,” said Dayzee, “in one of my favorite films, I played a sexy prison guard.”
“Were you abusive too?”
“Oh yeah, Mare. Mean, horny, and out of control. It was wonderful—I barely had to act.”
“But Kenzie isn’t a girl anymore—she’s Kozy now,” said Marilyn.
“Let’s just say I wasn’t all that feminine in this flick,” said Dayzee.
“Point us in the right direction,” said Sophia, “and we’ll turn Kozy into our own sadistic prison guard.”
“Ooh, I like the sound of that!” said Marilyn.
“Girls, settle down. Remember that Kenzie is still in there somewhere too.”
“Kenzie will love it. She likes playing dress-up,” said Sophia.
“That’s funny, Sissy, because we mostly saw her undressed when we used her to kill the last assassin. You were naked, too, except for your heels. Neither of you wanted anything to do with dressing up.”
“That was just a weird night, alright, Sis? It was Halloween, remember?”
“Uh-huh. Sure, Sissy.”
“Let’s look in this one, I think,” Dayzee said as she swung open the heavy wooden doors. “Yeah, there it is.”
She reached in and pulled her hand back out just in time as both doors slammed shut.
“Oh, that was close,” said Marilyn. “I think it tried to bite you.”
“It almost did bite her, Sis. Kozy, this stupid furniture just attacked Dayzee. Is it that killer again? You’re not going to put up with that, are you?”
Kozy swept back his long brown hair and faced the wardrobe with his fists on his hips.
“I will handle this for you should it exhibit more violent behavior.”
“You’ll have to because we need to get in there. You want a hot outfit, don’t you?” said Marilyn.
“If it pleases all of you, yes.”
One by one the doors ripped themselves away from the cabinet, sending screws and hinge parts rattling across the wood floor. The doors stood a moment on their own, rotating slowly, as if looking around the room. They’d just risen up and started to fly at Dayzee when Kozy grabbed both of them, slammed them flat on the floor, and stood with one clean white sneaker on each.
“Kozy, you did it!” said Marilyn.
“Not yet,” he said as each of the doors shook and bent themselves up and away from the floor.
He gave each one several hard stomps, cracking one of them, and they quieted down and lay flat.
“It has retreated.”
“Well, that’s very impressive,” said Marilyn.
“Yep, Sis, but those sneakers have to go. The jeans too. Kozy is way too sexy for those clothes.”
Dayzee reached in and took out hangers with black khaki pants, a crisp white shirt with lace in the front, and a short black jacket with shiny brass buttons and wide padded shoulders.
“Oh, I think this is it, girls.”
“I love it,” said Marilyn. “Except for the shirt, of course.”
“Sis is right. He’ll just have to get by without a shirt.”
“I agree, girls. We just need to find the right pair of boots.”
“What kind of boots, Dayzee?” said Sophia. “There’s no way any of your boots will fit him.”
“No, Fia, not any of mine. Not long ago, one romantic encounter ended with him running for his life. He never came back for his boots, and I kept them.”
“Probably tossed them in the basement, right?” said Sophia.
“Nope. Right here,” said Dayzee, and she held a pair of shiny black boots with raised, thick treads. The toes had brass covers, and heavy brass buckles covered the outsides.
“Perfect,” said Sophia.
“How about a hat too?” said Marilyn. “This is fun!”
“I know just the one. It’s in the closet in that bedroom where—”
Dayzee stopped herself, and Sophia said, “What’s wrong?”
“God, I just remembered something, Fia. Come on, let’s ride back down and let Kozy change. I have to make a phone call.”
Alone in the elevator with the Kildare Killers, Dayzee said, “Girls, we never got rid of that body under the bed. Remember that?”
“Oh yeah, I remember,” said Sophia. “You and Sis wrapped it up and stuffed it under there when I was—”
“Getting to know Kenzie better,” said Marilyn. “Well, at least until that first assassin took control of her.”
“Well, Sis, I still got to know her. Remember how that headless dead guy was going at her?”
“Yes, I sure do remember, Sissy. Kenzie was dead, too, and naked and lying right there between your legs. Oh, I remember that well!”
“That’s right, girls. That was a crazy time, but the more I think about it, I think I can trust Carlos to help out with that dead guy too.”
“You’re calling Carlos?” said Marilyn. “Sissy, let’s get our teeny robes on. He won’t even see Kenzie because Kenzie is really Kozy now, and—”
“Oh, you know what, Sis? I think Carlos would like Kozy better than Kenzie. You know what I mean?”
“Oh, you’re saying that Carlos prefers—”
“Yep, I think so. Nothing happened between him and Kenzie. Maybe he’d like—”
“Who wouldn’t like Kozy? Well, we’ll just have to get them upstairs, then push them both in a room, then—”
“Girls, stop! Fia, hit ‘1,’ please. We need Carlos to get rid of the headless body under the bed, remember? That’s why I’m calling him. Not so you can set him up with the One-Eighty version of Kenzie.”
“She’s right, Sissy. That dead body has to go. Besides, I want the One-Eighty version of Kozy to myself.”
“What about me?” said Dayzee. “Come on, this is my house.”
“Oh, okay,” said Marilyn. “I bet there’s plenty to go around.”
“Good. Thank you.”
The elevator landed, and all three began walking toward the kitchen until Dayzee stopped and turned around.
“What’s the matter, Dayzee?”
“Nothing, Mare. I just want to remember how to find that thing on this floor.”
Dayzee studied the sight, then turned back around, and they continued walking through the halls and large rooms until they got back to the kitchen.
“Will Kozy know how to find us?” said Sophia. “We should have left a map.”
“Good idea, Sissy. Dayzee, we can draw a map sometime, okay?”
Dayzee shook her head, smiled, and sat at the table.
“Sure, Mare,” she said with a grin. “It’s not like we have anything else to do.”
She took out her phone and hit a few numbers.
“Carlos, it’s Dayzee. Thanks again for all your help with the yard. Sweet of you to not ask any questions too.”
She listened quietly for a few seconds.
“Are you blackmailing me, Carlos? It sounds like you are. I always pay you extra anyway because—”
More silent seconds passed. Dayzee looked from one twin to the other with a grin.
“Okay, fine. Come out one more time for some special work, and we’ll find a way to make it worth your while. We think we know exactly what you might like. How does that sound?”
Dayzee examined several of the diamond rings she wore, smiled, and listened.
“Perfect. Just text me before you’re about to show up, alright? Okay, talk to you soon. Thanks, Carlos.”
She ended the call and set her phone on the table.
“Girls, what you were just talking about . . . let’s give it a go. I have no idea how we could make that work, but I think you might be right about what Carlos wants.”
“Oh, good,” said Marilyn. “Kind of like playing matchmaker.”
“God, Sis. Some kind of One-Eighty thing living in Kenzie like she’s a puppet, and Carlos the yard guy, called here to remove a burnt, headless body from under the bed? You call that ‘matchmaking?’”
“Girls,” said Dayzee, “this is Beverly Hills. Things like that happen all the time.”
Sophia had volunteered to toast more waffles, and she and Dayzee and Marilyn sat at the table eating and drinking hot coffee. All crunching stopped, and all heads turned at the sound of footsteps in the hallway leading to the kitchen.
“Oh my God,” said Marilyn, “now that’s hot!”
Kozy walked in wearing the uniform they’d chosen: black boots with brass buckles, black khaki pants that were tight and showed off his muscular legs, and a crisp black jacket that came down only an inch or two below his waist. The jacket couldn’t come close to closing, and Kozy’s bare abs and chest showed bulging muscles like they were cut into granite.
“What is your assessment of this appearance?”
“Wow,” said Sophia. “You really know how to play dress-up.”
“Here,” said Dayzee as she tossed a black cap over. “That’ll finish it off.”
Kozy put on the hat with a short brim and a shiny badge on the front and let out a deep sigh.
“Oh, Kozy likes it,” said Marilyn. “Do you like that outfit, Kozy?”
“Yes, Marilyn, but that was Kenzie that expressed some relief and acceptance with the new clothing. She is occasionally able to manifest insignificant gestures and expressions.”
“Told you, Sis. Kenzie likes dressing up,” said Sophia.
“Only until someone undresses her, right, Sissy?”
“Girls, the important thing is that we now have a proper protector in a stylish uniform. I’m ready to be attacked by anything wooden now.”
“Or something with wood,” said Marilyn.
“Huh. Save that for Carlos, Sis. We owe him.”
“I guess I’ll have to, Sissy. That was the deal for him to get rid of the dead guy. Still, I’m hoping that I get a turn to—”
Marilyn’s phone rang, and she picked it up off of the table. Kozy came closer, and all three waited quietly.
“Hello, this is Marilyn.”
Twenty seconds of silence passed.
“That sounds amazing! Yes, I’m sure we’d all like to hear about it!”
Ten more quiet seconds passed.
“Today? Well, I guess that would be okay. Yes, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll call you back if they say no, okay?”
She waited a few seconds, then said, “Wonderful! See you in an hour!”
Marilyn put her phone away and smiled from face to face.
“What, Sis? What’s going on?”
“Oh, Sissy, that was our special admirer. You know . . . that guy. He said he has an idea for a reality show—starring all three of us!”
“No way, Sis! You’re serious?”
“Uh-huh. Yes, he’s serious. He wants all three of us as stars.”
“What guy are you two talking about?” said Dayzee.
“A secret admirer,” said Marilyn. “He’ll be here in an hour to explain the whole deal. Dayzee, it’s okay, isn’t it? He wants to use your mansion. Come on, say it’s okay!”
“Hey, why not? That could be fun. We’d have to mix it in with all of our other projects, but we could work it out.”
“Did he say the name of the show, Sis?”
“Yes, he sure did. He said it’s ‘Kildare in the Hills.’”
Chapter 3 – Even Bigger Stars
“‘Kildare in the Hills,’ huh? That’s what he said?”
“That’s right, Dayzee. He said it’s because we came from Kildare,” said Marilyn.
“Why the heck did he call you? He wants to use my house, but he calls you?”
“Well, he doesn’t have your number for one thing. Besides, I think he might have some special feelings for me, that’s all.”
“No way, Sis. I’m sure he likes me better.”
“I didn’t mean to exclude you, Sissy. I think he has special feelings for both of us.”
“Who exactly is this guy?” said Dayzee.
“We never told you,” said Sophia, “but he’s given us some pretty nice gifts over the years.”
“Like what?”
“Cash. Lots of it!” said Marilyn. “He says it’s because he wants to help us with our careers, but we know better. He just digs us.”
“He really does, Dayzee.”
“Does he know you’re the ‘Kildare Killers?’ Does he know where you’re really from?”
“That’s silly, Dayzee. No, of course, he doesn’t know any of that.”
“Ah, this shouldn’t surprise me, Mare. You and your sister are so hot, and—”
“So are you, Dayzee.”
“Thanks, Fia. Alright, the big question is: have either of you ever, you know, with him?”
“Mm . . . we sure do think about it, don’t we, Sissy?”
“Yep, but we haven’t. We’ve never even met him. Besides, we don’t want to risk losing all that cash.”
“We might burn him up by mistake, Dayzee.”
“I’m proud of you girls. Very smart. You said he’s coming over in an hour?”
“Yes, that’s what he said. He wants to propose—”
“Propose? Really?”
“No, Dayzee, not like that. He wants to give us his proposal about the show. He said he has producers lined up and ready, and we just need to go over the details.”
“You said he wants all three of us?” said Dayzee. “What about Kozy?”
“Oh, I know—he could be a houseguest.”
“A really hot houseguest, Sis. If Kenzie ever comes back, she could be a houseguest too.”
“Hey, we could say they were brother and sister, Sissy. He’s a weightlifting freak with all kinds of muscles, and she’s just a hot barmaid.”
“This could work, girls. Kozy, are you okay with that? Do you want to be part of the show too?”
“If that is required for me to continue protecting you, then yes. Sign me up.”
“That’s funny, Kozy,” said Marilyn. “‘Sign me up.’”
“It’s nowhere near as fun as dressing you up,” said Sophia.
“Undressing, too, right, Sissy?”
“That was Halloween, and it was part of the plan, remember? Kenzie and I didn’t really do—”
“Girls! We need to get ready. Marilyn, what’s the guy’s name?”
“You’re not going to believe it. I hope it’s an alias.”
“Go ahead and tell us, already, Sis.”
“Sutcliffe Gutsquid.”
“Lovely,” said Dayzee. “What the hell kind of a name is that?”
“Did you say ‘Gutsquid,’ Marilyn?” said Kozy.
“I sure did, Kozy. Why, do you know him?”
“No, I am sure I do not. The name sounds familiar, that is all. It reminds me of an entity rumored to inhabit a nearby asteroid.”
“Entity?” said Dayzee. “What kind of entity?”
“It is supposedly a fish-like, parasitic life form that thrives in the digestive tracts of other living things, eventually consuming them from the inside out.”
“Sheesh,” said Sophia.
“You didn’t know his name, Fia?”
“No, Dayzee, I just took the cash. We’ve never met him. Sis is the only one that has dealt with him.”
“Well, whatever his name is, if he’s for real, this could be fun.”
“You sure do have the house for it, Dayzee. We’re going to be even bigger stars!”
“I think you’re right, Mare. We’re going to be even more—”
Dayzee froze.
“What’s the matter, Dayzee?”
“Oh, Fia. This isn’t going to be easy. First of all, we have a dead body upstairs. Carlos could show up at any time to deal with that, and don’t forget why Kozy is here. Anything inside or outside this house that’s made of wood can attack us when we least expect it. We can’t always be together, so Kozy might not be around for all of us all the time.”
“Yep, especially when Carlos finishes his dirty work,” said Sophia. “If we get Carlos alone with Kozy, no one will be around to protect any of us.”
“We’ll manage, girls. This is show business—things are always crazy.”
A clatter near the sink quieted everyone, and they all turned to look. A rack of knives on the counter started bouncing around, tipping from side to side and rattling each knife until they all fell out. One at a time, each knife floated up and drifted toward the staircase, where they sailed in an orderly line up and out of sight.
They all listened to the silence. Dayzee looked away from the staircase and toward Kozy.
“What the hell?” said Dayzee. “Knives?”
“With wood handles,” said Kozy.
“Kozy, what’s that all about?”
“It appears to be gathering weapons. Or maybe it . . .”
“Go on, Kozy. What else?”
“Maybe it is trying to scare all of you.”
“It worked,” said Marilyn.
“Me too, Sis.”
“It wants to kill us, doesn’t it?” said Dayzee. “Why would it want to scare us?”
“It will play with your emotions. Three of the four posts on your bed were determined to damage you.”
“Damage is right,” said Dayzee.
“The fourth had a different objective. It sought to distract you with pleasure.”
“You’re right about that, Kozy,” said Sophia. “That thing was giving Dayzee some sweet kind of treatment.”
“I liked it too,” said Dayzee. “I really did.”
“Fear. Lust. Death. Anything is fair game to it.”
“That’s especially crazy,” said Marilyn. “How will we ever pull off this show? Can we do the show somewhere else?”
“No, Sis. That thing will try to kill us wherever we are. Scare us too.”
“You might all be safer, at least for a while,” said Kozy, “if you were to leave this mansion. It has settled in, and this has become its preferred playground. Is that the appropriate word?”
“Close enough,” said Dayzee. “Well, I’m not running. Let it try to scare us.”
Marilyn said, “Nothing scary about that empty knife rack, Dayzee. It looks stupid just sitting there all by itself.”
The block of wood began vibrating and rattled around on the counter.
“Uh-oh,” said Marilyn.
All any of them saw was the briefest of blurs as it raced toward the table. No one saw Kozy move to a new place sitting on Marilyn’s lap.
“Oh, my!” said Marilyn. “Did you catch it?”
She peeked around Kozy to see that he held the flying block securely in both hands. She let out a deep sigh, hugged him tightly around his waist, and laid her head against his black jacket.
“You saved me!”
Her hands dropped down farther, and she said, “Oh, wow, that sure was some danger, wasn’t it? My goodness!”
Dayzee said, “Well, Kozy did tell us.”
“Pretty good, huh, Sis?”
“Oh, yes, Sissy. I better make extra sure, though.”
“You’re really helping yourself there, Sis.”
“I really am. It’s not going away either. Why is that, Kozy?”
Kozy brushed back his long brown hair, and Marilyn still held on tightly.
“Have you located the knives?”
“Well, no, we don’t know where they are,” said Dayzee. “Oh, I get it. We’re still in danger. That’s it, isn’t it, Kozy?”
“Yes. It could strike at any time. You are all in peril.”
“I’m kind of liking the peril right now,” Marilyn said as she moved her left hand up to Kozy’s abs and her right slipped inside his khakis. “I’m not even looking for those silly knives.”
“But if we found them,” said Sophia. “If we somehow put them all back where they belong, what then?”
“Then, I will revert to a more relaxed form.”
“All the way relaxed?” said Sophia.
“Yes.”
“Don’t you dare go find those knives, Sissy,” said Marilyn. “Not yet, at least.”
“Hey, why would I spoil your fun? It would be different if, you know, my hands were in—”
“Alright, you two. We have to figure out—”
The doorbell rang out like a giant gong, and they all sat silent and stared at each other except for Marilyn, who still rested her cheek on Kozy’s back and held on tight.
“I hope it’s Carlos,” said Dayzee. “There’s a headless corpse rotting up there that we need to get out of here before your friend—”
“Sutcliffe?” said Marilyn.
“Yeah, that guy. Before he gets here. Even with the dead guy gone, we still have a ton of problems. Like those knives. Where the hell are those knives?”
“Don’t ask me to find them, Dayzee,” said Sophia. “Sis is having too much fun.”
“Me neither,” said Marilyn. “I could sit here all day and—”
“Fine, I’ll just answer my own door,” said Dayzee, and she rose from her seat and began walking toward the front door. “I really should get a butler.”
Marilyn still held Kozy on her lap, and Sophia walked over and gazed up the stairway with her hands on her hips.
“Hello, I’m Dayzee. Dayzee Dazzle. I was expecting a young man named Carlos, but you’re obviously not him.”
A middle-aged man with lightly graying hair stood with a ball cap in his hand. He wore jeans and a polo shirt, and under his arm, he carried a leather portfolio.
“And you are obviously stunning. Sutcliffe. Sutcliffe Gutsquid at your service. Please, just call me Cliff.”
Dayzee held out her hand, and he took it for a quick kiss, all the while looking into her eyes with a smile.
“Oh my, aren’t you sweet, Cliff? Pleased to meet you. Please, come in.”
Once they both had entered the expansive foyer, Dayzee closed the door behind them and leaned her back into it.
“I was surprised to hear from Mare just this morning about your proposal. I’m intrigued!”
Cliff looked around at the tasteful architecture and expensive furnishings. He shook his head with a grin and said, “This is magnificent. It’s more luxurious than I’d even imagined it to be.”
Dayzee walked farther inside and turned to face him.
“Well, thanks. I call it home.”
Marilyn and Kozy walked in side-by-side, and Marilyn said, “Wow, it’s you—we finally meet.”
“Marilyn, you’re even more beautiful in person.”
She left Kozy to walk up to Cliff for a quick hug.
“Your twin sister is here too?”
“She sure is.”
Sophia gave up on the stairs and walked into the foyer.
“Ah, the gorgeous Sophia. I’m Cliff. It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you too.”
“Likewise. Thanks for everything. Sis and I have appreciated all you’ve done for us.”
“That was my pleasure. I only hope that it helped you in some small ways. Which is why I’m here today—a proposition that could catapult you all even higher into the stratosphere, where only the brightest stars can be found and adored.”
“Oh,” said Marilyn, “he does have a way with words, doesn’t he?”
“I’ll say,” said Dayzee. “Cliff, you should be a writer or something.”
“Well, Dayzee, I am. I’ve been lucky to have most of my books sell very well.”
“What do you write?”
“Novels. I write in the obscure but profitable genre of Alien Romance. I guess all of my readers like to fantasize about affairs with aliens. Imagine that.”
“Hey,” said Marilyn, “are you sure your readers aren’t aliens fantasizing about getting it on with a human?”
“Sis, that’s crazy talk. Everyone knows there are no—”
“Now, Sophia,” said Cliff, “your sister might be onto something. I get some fan mail asking me if I’m really from some other planet. I dodge and weave enough that they’re never really sure.”
“But you’re not, right?” said Dayzee. “You’re not from another planet, are you?”
“Oh, Dayzee, you’re a treasure. You even looked concerned, or maybe fearful, when you asked me. I love it.”
Dayzee turned to look at the twins. Marilyn sighed deeply and shook her head, and Sophia shrugged. Cliff continued to grin at all three before he turned to look at Kozy.
“And who might you be? I must say, that’s a dashing outfit you have on.”
“I am Kozy. I am here only to help them with any problems that might arise.”
Sophia elbowed her sister and said, “Arise. That’s never a problem, huh, Sis?”
“Stop it, Sissy.”
“I’m Cliff. I’m very happy to meet you as well.”
“Mr. Cliff, did you originate on a planet other than Earth?”
Cliff lost his smile and stared into Kozy’s eyes. Dayzee and the twins stayed silent and waited. After five quiet seconds, he shook a pointing finger at Kozy and grinned.
“I like that—a direct question. No chance for me to sneak around it, right? Okay, Mr. Kozy, I will tell you flat out that I am not from a planet other than Earth. How about that, huh?”
“That is a relief. I already have my hands full, as it is sometimes said in this world.”
“Kozy means in Beverly Hills,” said Dayzee. “First trip here.”
“What do you have your hands full of?” said Cliff.
“I have been assigned the role of security specialist.”
“Oh, I see. That’s your uniform? I like it.”
“We do too,” said Marilyn. “We just got him into that outfit a short while ago.”
“Excellent choice. Well, I promise not to add to anyone’s problems here. What I have is a proposal for you three and maybe Kozy too.”
He held his hands out together to mimic a camera lens, which he looked through as he pointed it at Dayzee, then Sophia, then Marilyn, then Kozy.
“Let’s put three—or maybe four?—gigantic, bright, blazing new stars up in the sky. Ladies and Kozy, let’s get real!”
“I can assure you,” said Kozy, “that I am real. I am able to take any form that—”
“Kozy will gladly take and fill out any forms you need, Cliff,” said Dayzee.